The fear of rejection

The fear of rejection

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There are people who fear being rejected by others and as a consequence, instead of showing themselves as they are, they become what others expect. They themselves weave their own condemnation: betray themselves for fear of rejection. Let's see what this fear consists of and how we can deal with it.


  • 1 The feeling of rejection
  • 2 Why does fear of rejection occur?
  • 3 How to overcome the fear of rejection

The feeling of rejection

The human being is social by nature and precisely because of this, he needs to relate and feel that he belongs to a group to feel good, be it his family, friends or the work environment. In fact, facing rejection and exclusion generates deep pain in those who experience it.

Rejection is a feeling that is lived from the deepest and that translates into a non-acceptance of the person. But if we dig a little deeper, feeling rejected is feel invalid before those who, in most cases, care or admire us for whatever reason.

In fact, if this rejection occurs in the early years of childhood it will probably take root in the soul of the child who experiences it to accompany him the rest of his days, in the form of emotional injury. Because rejecting is nothing other than to despise and deny.

Why does fear of rejection occur?

It is very likely that the person who is afraid of rejection has at some time lived an experience in which they felt rejected. In this case it does not matter so much if others have manifested this behavior as such, since only the experience of believing rejected is enough. That is, our parents or any friend may not have intended to reject something very valuable to us, the point is that we have interpreted their behavior in this way.

In this situation,the person to protect himself from this heartbreaking feeling creates a mask that hides his true way of being. In this way, he flees the feeling of rejection that has caused so much pain. The point is that she will begin to doubt herself for everything governed by her fear of not being accepted and being trapped in the image that others expect of her.

In the background, The person who is afraid of rejection underestimates himself and seeks perfection at all costs. Something that will not come because it is impossible to please everyone, but that in it will cause the constant search for the recognition of others. Insecurity and indecision will govern it and will always be waiting to have fulfilled the expectations of others.

The fear of rejection will also cause the person who suffers it I prefer to be alone most of the time, since if you receive a lot of attention you will have more chances of being rejected. In case you have to be with others, you will try to go unnoticed to avoid being rejected and feel that intense feeling of contempt. And when she is chosen or valued, she will almost sabotage the situation in the face of her disbelief, coming to reject herself. That is, the greater the fear of being rejected, the more likely it is to be rejected or rejected.

As we see, the person who is afraid of rejection enters a vicious circle of fear, insecurity and indecision which constantly leads to the same behaviors, getting caught. In addition, this wear will awaken irritability, resentment and anger with the passage of time, becoming on most occasions defensive, the result of intense suffering experienced.

How to overcome the fear of rejection

As we have seen, people sensitive to rejection are on constant alert thinking about what others will like in order to adopt that behavior. They become true camouflage experts to go unnoticed. The point is that in the long run they will experience frustration and discomfort because deep down, they have learned not to be themselves.

Therefore, the best strategy to start working in the face of fear of rejection is the recovery of lost self-esteem. to understand that the value of being oneself. That is to say, The fundamental axis to overcome the fear of rejection is to increase self-esteem. For this, it is important:

  • Accept the fear of rejection.The first step in overcoming the fear of rejection is to accept it beforehand to start working. Otherwise, it would be impossible. Therefore, it is very important to check from time to time to identify what our fears and needs are.
  • Be aware of the way you act and forgive yourself. Another step would be to become aware of how this fear works. Thus, we can implement the right tools to face it. In addition, it is also important to forgive and thus free yourself from the feeling of guilt experienced.
  • Forget perfection and assumptions. Perfection is an ideal that enslaves us and the assumptions are still stories we tell ourselves. Getting rid of these obstacles will allow us to show ourselves as we are. We will never be perfect and we will not guess what others think, why insist?
  • Start prioritizing. Spending time, expressing what you think or feel is essential to start loving yourself and thus defeat the fear of being rejected. Investing in us is the best way to meet and make ourselves known.
  • Be considered a valuable person. Each of us is limited edition, from which it follows that we are unique. In addition, we are not only the mistakes made but also the successes achieved.

As we see, The fear of rejection is a great wall that limits our ability to relate and grow on a personal level. It ties us to others, dwarfs our courage and, worst of all, masks our personality. Therefore, to get rid of him, many doses of love are needed to rediscover himself.