Walter Riso it is psychologist Italian-born clinician with Argentine nationality, expert in couple relationships. Specialist in cognitive psychology, disseminator and therapist trainer. Today we have compiled numerous phrases by Walter Riso that will make you think about love and personal self-esteem.
He is known for books of "Love or depend?", "Fall in love with you: The essential value of self-esteem", "Manual not to die of love: Ten principles of emotional survival", "Love and do not suffer: How to fully enjoy of life as a couple ”or“ Highly dangerous love ”.
Famous quotes by Walter Riso
The joy is not in reaching the ideal Self, but in the process of traveling to it without despising itself and without anxiety.
Will there be greater folly than to love what I am not and to miss what I have never been?
Detachment is not heartbreak, but a healthy way of relating, whose premises are: independence, not possessiveness and no addiction.
Emotional ignorance is known as alexithymia, and it means the inability to read emotionally.
You have to love being free: "I don't need you, I prefer you, I choose you".
A clock of 3,000 euros marks the same time as a clock of 30. A portfolio of 300 euros charges the same money as one of 3. The loneliness in a house of 30 square meters or 300 is the same. I hope one day you realize that your inner happiness does not come from material things in the world. It does not matter if you travel in first class or in the economic one, equally low if the plane falls. I hope you realize that, when you have people close to whom to talk, laugh, and sing, that is true happiness.
Happiness does not reach the door, you have to look for it and fight for it.
"I am made to do good things, interesting, cheerful and friendly, even if they are not extraordinary and out of series." You will take a huge weight off.
Submission to the "what will they say" is a socially accepted form of slavery.
There is nothing more dangerous than an idea, when it is the only one you have.
The path is to quiet the mind and induce it to look at itself realistically. A mature mind, balanced and learn to lose. A humble mind, but not stunned. A mind open to the world, vigorous and grounded.
The best things in life usually happen when we expect nothing.
You do not deserve as a couple who hurts you, you do not deserve who does not love you.
If you decide to be flexible, you will take a huge weight off when you see that nothing is predetermined and that you can be the last judge of your own behavior.
What defines attachment is not so much the desire as the inability to give it up.
Love has two main enemies: the indifference that kills it slowly, and the disappointment that eliminates it at once.
Respect for ourselves and our values must precede any fear or desire to please.
The joy is not in reaching the ideal Self, but in the process of traveling to it without despising itself and without anxiety.
If loving you means putting aside my self-esteem, my link with you is toxic: I am not interested.
We all die, grow old and get sick. Existence or life, as we will see later, is impermanent, and therefore our sources of attachment will be exhausted, whether we like it or not. If you accept this premise with your whole being you would not have attachments.
You're going to break your relationship because it doesn't suit you, not because you stopped loving it. It hurts, but it doesn't kill.
If love hinders my free personality from developing, it is preferable to be alone and free.
What is better? Undoubtedly, the luminosity of humor, laughter, even if it is inadmissible at times (never offensive).
Forgiveness is a gift given to others and to oneself in order to ease the burden of resentment or guilt: it is a deserved rest for the heart.
The person who has the bad habit of concentrating more on the negative than on the positive ends up ignoring the good.
Do not be afraid to review, change or modify your goals, if they are a source of suffering. How else could you approach happiness?
When love knocks on the door, it will enter like a trumpet: you cannot leave out the bad and receive only the good. If you think that love equals happiness, you made a mistake.
The future is stored in the past.
Persistence when you have to persist and resignation when you have to know how to lose. I use both.
I insist again and again that your wisdom is nothing but the awareness of your own limits.
The person I love is an important part of my life, but not the only one.
I have always considered that people who have no problems with anyone are at least suspicious of not saying what they feel and think.
Obsession implies that love becomes insatiable in the relationship. One of the members of the couple is never satisfied with their relationship, can not do anything without their partner, and demonstrates a great dependence.
The social stereotype that shows the ethical person as a boring being, spoilers or prudishness is absurd and lacks any foundation.
Nothing is yours, life rents it to you, it lends it to you to enjoy while you have it.
The mind is a restless monkey, jumping from branch to branch in search of fruits throughout an endless jungle of conditioned events.
The more you express, the less you will have to store. While the postponement closes the evacuation doors, exaggerated prudence just opens them.
To love is not to suffer, and we have the right to be happy. This is the supreme good that no one can take from us, even in the name of love.
Prejudice is a scourge (I do not think it is a psychological disease), a malformation of human coexistence and therefore, we must face it, denounce it and control it, as we do with any other evil. There is no excuse.
We must establish a personal ethic that separates the negotiable from the non-negotiable, the point of no return.
It is better to endure some specific pains to enjoy greater pleasures. It is convenient to deprive yourself of certain certain pleasures so as not to suffer painful pains.
Worthy and conflict-free loneliness is preferable, than an incomplete relationship in which lack rules.
For example, the value of perseverance requires a limit so that it does not become fanaticism: "learn to lose."
The good friend does not hide his defects, he puts them on the table to point out the danger of believing in him beyond what is convenient.
Love is not only felt, it is also thought and assumed in the pain of others.
We believe in beliefs too much, because it is more comfortable not to question ourselves.
Will there be a greater mental health symptom than not taking oneself very seriously?
Nothing justifies unnecessary suffering. A serious and grounded proposal to start thinking about oneself in a more rational and healthy way, and to fully develop our human potential.
Who said that in order to love, life projects had to be canceled and set aside? To love you must not give up on yourself, that is the maxim.
Pessimistic people are surrounded by a halo of bitterness. His life oscillates between disappointment and sadness.
The false paradox: happy or unhappy idiot is resolved. There is a third best option: happy wise, even if it is redundant, because there is no wisdom without joy.
Many relationships end up being an imitation of the other. And there are things that in principle you cannot negotiate in love, such as your own story, your basic beliefs, your ideals. It is one thing to agree on secondary things, but the true way of being cannot be changed.
The words "never", "always", "everything" or "nothing" are dangerous because they leave no options.
No matter how much they love you, but how they do it.
If you only focus on your mistakes, you will not see your achievements. If you only see what you lack, you will not enjoy the moment, the here and now.
When we are in the way of being, we do not compete, we do not need to show any records or strut with anything, there is essential joy, there is a form of satisfaction that is enough for itself: we are authentic.
People learn by trial and error and you don't escape that principle.
If someone doubts that he loves you, he does not love you.
Assertive behavior carries a social cost: sincere people uncomfortable.
There is no gloomy wisdom, because no one learns to live with the bias of negativity in tow. Rigid minds confuse "knowing how to live" and "good life" with knowing how to suffer. And that's another thing; It's called autocastigo.
No matter what the poets say, we don't love with the heart, but with the brain.
When you are in a relationship where you are not loved as you would like or are not respected, but you are still clinging there (nevertheless), waiting for the miracle of an impossible resurrection, you passed the limits of reasonable and intelligent love.
I don't believe in love at first sight, there is chemistry, eros, passion at first sight. People confuse that with love. There is blindness at first sight.
From a psychosocial point of view, we live in a society coadicta to the excesses of love.
Couples fail because they do not think, you have to look for attraction but also friendship, it means being "buddy", who has a sense of humor, communication, life projects in common.
Those who become obsessed with success and turn it into a value, and also handle rigid execution schemes, travel badly even if they want to appear otherwise. Perhaps happiness is not in being the best seller, the best mom, the best son or strolling in anything, but simply in trying honestly and calmly, and enjoying it while it takes place.
For a rational ideal Self, which is not unhealthy, a balanced mixture of ambition and realism is needed.
Remove what is left over, disconnect and say goodbye with the wisdom of those who have understood what is not convenient for them.
Loving oneself, despising or ignoring others, is presumption and exclusion; loving others, despising oneself, is lack of self-love.
Love must not make you rethink your own identity, it does not exist for the other, individuality must be preserved. Love is "I love you and I love myself".
Do not idealize being loved; Look at it as it is, crudely and without anesthesia.
The choice of opposites is a mistake, being with someone like that you will always have to justify what you do.
When you respect yourself as a person, you respect the human being and your relationship is better with others.
You suffer too much for love, that's the truth. Even those who boast of being perfectly coupled to their partner, in the deepest part of their being harbor doubts and insecurities.
The stone mind is not allowed to doubt and abhors self-criticism. Its foundations are unmodifiable and indisputable.
The best things in life cannot be achieved by force. You can force to eat, but you cannot force to feel hungry; you can force someone to lie down, but not to sleep; you can force them to praise you, but not to be admired; you can force them to tell you a secret, but not to trust; You can force them to serve you, but not to love you.
Right now, somewhere in the world there is someone who would be happy to have you.
Does it make sense to pursue something or someone who has already escaped your control? He is gone, he is gone, he no longer wants to be.
You are enslaved in love when some things happen like getting to an extreme of fusion with that person who says "we share everything", second, when you lose your individuality and when you are very afraid of losing the other and start submitting yourself humiliate you
Love starts at home, if you don't love yourself nobody will love you.
The man enters through sex and reaches affection and the woman enters through affection and reaches sex.
Softness and flexibility are closely related to life, while hardness and stiffness are associated with death.
The truth is not proclaimed or decreed; rather it is discovered, sought.
To be autonomous from the emotional point of view is not to stop loving, but to govern oneself.
Love is the mixture of three things: eroticism or desire, friendship and agape, care for the other. When we have these three elements, what we could say as a complete love is configured.
Feel proud and happy of your physical attributes. It doesn't matter if they are many or few, you are lucky because you have them.
Seeing the world in black and white takes us away from moderation and inner peace because life, where you look at it, is composed of nuances. Wanting to impose on the universe our primitive binary mentality is still an act of arrogance and stupidity.
For the construction of high self-esteem, avoid the influence of others.
Irrational love is that which is stubbornly maintained when we are not reciprocated, when we see personal self-realization blocked and / or when our moral codes are violated.
When the man or woman is in love, they are out of control.
According to ancient wisdom, to be happy we should need as little as possible and enjoy what we have.
Love is the main antidote against resentment and hate.
When we choose we are guided by the heart and confuse falling in love with love. The crush lasts two or three years maximum, idealize, we stick, chemistry does not let us think. When reason comes into play, love begins to emerge.
If someone doesn't love you anymore, learn to be a good loser and leave your dignity intact. Fighting for an impossible love, new or old, only serves to leave you with many scars.
If you are not able to love me as I deserve, you better go, there will already be someone who is able to enjoy what I am.
Affective addiction is a disease that has a cure and, most importantly, can be prevented.
Love does not have to be obsessive, it must be realistic, with your feet on the ground. It should not drive you crazy, you should not be insatiably looking for something through the other. Not that you go crazy, but that you are passionate, that you get excited without losing the north.
Have purposes? Obvious, starting from the real strengths and relying on the virtues themselves. Yes.
The novelty produces two mixed emotions: fear and curiosity. While the fear of the unknown acts as a brake, curiosity acts as an incentive (sometimes unstoppable) that leads us to explore the world and be amazed.
Loyalty to your partner is not absence of desire. Seeing someone you like is a matter of self control and avoidance on time. I recommend not to play with fire, or make yourself an idiot, because you can burn yourself.
A relationship of lovers lasts on average two years, two years of lies, it is very difficult to forgive that, I would say that 5% to 10% forgive that. It has nothing to do with forgiving an adventure.
Starting from the current knowledge we have about the mind, it is possible to affirm that there are two ways to open the doors of the good life: philosophy and psychology.
Infidelity is not a decision that is made, but if you want to be unfaithful you decide to face the costs of the consequences.
Famous phrases of psychology